"I mustn't be late. They're waiting for me in the test chamber! Oh wait, wrong game!" - a Scientist's Thought
Scientists are intelligent humans given the title, in Destroy All Humans! and Destroy All Humans! 2. There are three types of scientists, German scientists (more common), American scientists (less common), and Russian scientists (only found in Tunguska).
German Scientists[edit | edit source]
The most common form of scientist found in Destroy All Humans!. Believing themselves to be far superior to Americans, most of their thoughts are them insulting either American scientists or thinking about something "nerdy", for lack of a better term. They wear white lab coats. They can most commonly be found on the Majestic base in Area 42 or at the Octagon in Capitol City, but are also seen during one mission in Santa Modesta, where they are wearing brown coats.
American Scientists[edit | edit source]
American scientists are the less common form of scientist found in Destroy All Humans!, also known as Suburban Crazies. They are mostly present around Santa Modesta. They are seen wearing tin-foil hats and will run when they see Crypto, despite their thoughts saying that they want to see an alien. American scientists are portrayed as being "extra-terrestrial crackpots". There is one American scientist who helps Crypto find Bert Whither in the mission Foreign Correspondent. There are also American scientists that look like German scientists wearing brown coats (except in This Island Suburbia, where the German scientists wear brown coats). The "sane" American scientists can be found in Futon Down.
Russian Scientists[edit | edit source]
This form of scientist is explicit to Destroy All Humans! 2 and are only found in Tunguska, Russia. Unlike any other scientist found in the Destroy All Humans! series, this scientist division consists of men and women. Russian scientists are most commonly found in Science Town, working at the nuclear power plant, but can also be found around the frozen lake.
Cortex Scan - Scientist Thoughts[edit | edit source]
Scientists thoughts when cortex scanned.
"Here I am, brain the size of the planet, and I can't get lucky to save my life."
"If only I could dissect that alien - it has Nobel Prize written all over it's little green head"
"I've got it! The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem! It's...oh wait, wait...ah, crap, I just had it!"
"RD R squared? I don't get it."
"It's all relative! Ha, ha! That one kills me!"
"I was just following standard insertion procedures.. Ach, insert Tab A into Slob B! What could go wrong?"
"I mustn't be late. They're waiting for me in the test chamber! Oh wait, wrong game!"
"My mind says Einstein, but my body says Newton. Vell hello boys!"
"Here is my theorem - Quantum Physics is crap! Bohrs shmores - I poop on his theory!"
"Wait a minute, what if E equaled MC cubed? My God - I just saw the hole in my pants by looking around the curvature of space and time!"
"You know I still don't get that Magic Eye thing - I can't see ze damn dolphin!"
"Favorite scientist? Favorite Scientist? Hmm- well I sure wish I had wooden teeth like Tycho Brahe! He he he."
"God does not play dice with the universe. He does, however, hit the blackjack tables..."
"Uncertainty Principle? Give me a break! Grow some balls, Heisenburg!"
"I'd give my moral compass for one second with a fresh alien corpse - if I had one. Achtung!"
"I've got what every woman wants; a 12-inch slide rule and a 166 IQ. He he he he."