- "I mustn't be late. They're waiting for me in the test chamber! Oh wait, wrong game!"
- ―Scientist's Thought.
Scientists are humans who possess greater intellects than their peers, although that doesn’t say much.
Overview[]
Scientists conduct experiments to further human technology, often without regard for ethics or the lives of their fellow men. They appear in Destroy All Humans! and the Destroy All Humans! Remake, with the vast majority working for Majestic.
Variations[]
Scientists come in two varieties, German and American. The Germans are much more common, appearing in Area 42, Union Town or at the Octagon in Capitol City, as well as Santa Modesta during “This Island Suburbia.” By and large they believe themselves to be far superior to Americans, and most of their thoughts are them insulting their American colleagues. Their remaining thoughts focus on subjects of scientific discipline, and their dubious experiments.
The American Scientists, meanwhile, are rarer and only appear during “Furon Down.” They mostly have thoughts about scientific endeavors. Both nationalities wear lab coats, though in the original Destroy All Humans! German Scientists wear only white coats and Americans only wear brown coats.
Thoughts[]
Scientists thoughts when Cortex Scanned;
"Here I am, brain the size of the planet, and I can't get lucky to save my life."
"If only I could dissect that alien - it has Nobel Prize written all over it's little green head"
"I've got it! The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem! It's...oh wait, wait...ah, crap, I just had it!"
"RD R squared? I don't get it."
"It's all relative! Ha, ha! That one kills me!"
"I was just following standard insertion procedures.. Ach, insert Tab A into Slob B! What could go wrong?"
"I mustn't be late. They're waiting for me in the test chamber! Oh wait, wrong game!"
"My mind says Einstein, but my body says Newton. Vell hello boys!"
"Here is my theorem - Quantum Physics is crap! Bohrs shmores - I poop on his theory!"
"Wait a minute, what if E equaled MC cubed? My God - I just saw the hole in my pants by looking around the curvature of space and time!"
"You know I still don't get that Magic Eye thing - I can't see ze damn dolphin!"
"Favorite scientist? Favorite Scientist? Hmm- well I sure wish I had wooden teeth like Tycho Brahe! He he he."
"God does not play dice with the universe. He does, however, hit the blackjack tables..."
"Uncertainty Principle? Give me a break! Grow some balls, Heisenburg!"
"I'd give my moral compass for one second with a fresh alien corpse - if I had one. Achtung!"
"I've got what every woman wants; a 12-inch slide rule and a 166 IQ. He he he he."
Trivia[]
- A German scientist's appearance is the same as Einstein, as well as their voices.
- The fact that most scientists are German is a reference to the American government hiring Nazi scientists after World War II.