Destroy All Humans Wiki
Destroy All Humans Wiki


"Nightstick. Check. Taking bribes from local gangster. Check. Sense of moral superiority over fellow citizens. Check. Time to arrest me some peeps!" - a Police Officer's Thought

The Police were the first enemy who were encountered in most locations (except for Area 42, Capitol City, Tunguska, Solaris, and the Fourth Ring of Furon). The Police were relatively weak, only had a pistol, and rarely had a shotgun. The Police remained until the Alert Level increased higher than two icons, and were seen patrolling the town at lower levels.

Destroy All Humans![]

In Destroy All Humans!, the Police were the official Police forces of the United States. The Police were encountered at Turnipseed Farm, Rockwell, Santa Modesta, and Union Town.

A Police Officer in Destroy All Humans!.

Strangely, every Cop spoke with a thick Irish accent when the first two Cops at Turnipseed Farm had normal American accents in the first mission of the game.

It's also revealed through scanning a Cop's mind that they were corrupt and used excessive force all the time. They like to daydream a lot about their egos and self-aspirations, have little interest in serving the public and are eagerly waiting for their shift to be done so they can go home.

Cortex Scan - Police Thoughts[]

Police Officers thoughts when cortex scanned.

"Man, am I crooked! I just roughed up a little old lady for jaywalking! HAHAHAHAH! Sometimes I kill myself!"

"Move along! Nothing to see here! Oh, I sure like saying that!"

"To serve and protect! To serve and protect! To swerve and defect! To curve and perfect! Dammit, I lost it!"

"How the hell am I supposed to run in these shoes? Shiny, shiny shoes."

"I like that Nixon! I gotta feeling he's gonna make us cops popular again!"

"Keep it together man! Keep it together! Evildoers are everywhere!"

"It's a good day to use excessive force! Heck - every day is a good day to use excessive force!"

"My mind says Marilyn, but my nightstick says Betty Page."

"I love a man in uniform! Oh wait, I am a man in uniform! Hahahaha."

"Wonder if I oughta go hit somebody with my nightstick? Could be fun!"


"Nightstick. Check. Taking bribes from local gangster. Check. Sense of moral superiority over fellow citizens. Check. Time to arrest me some peeps!"

"Well it was either bustin' crooks or goin back n gettin my doctorate in quantum physics."

"Bill of Rights? Who the hell needs a Bill of RIghts? I'm Bill, and I'm right!"

"There's a screenplay in this. YO YO YO SERPICO! Oh wait... wrong decade."

"Go ahead, make my day!"

"Bring it on bad guys! I'm going all Joe Friday - I got a dragnet out for evil-doers."

"I wanna ride a motorcycle. How come I never get to ride a motorcycle? Motorcycle cops have all the fun!"


Law Enforcement Units or "Police"[]

The human paramilitary complex seems to extend to these so-called "boys in blue." Though relatively lacking power, the sheer numbers of these trigger-happy humans can cause annoyance once assembled.

"Po-leece? Might as well call'em po-LICE! Them rascals is a dang nuisance for Mr. Crypto!" - Gastro-999

Destroy All Humans! 2[]

In Destroy All Humans! 2, Crypto and Orthopox went around the Earth and different Police came after Crypto. The Police did not appear in certain locations either due to Military Presence or were not assigned to that location.

Bay City[]

In Bay City, the Bay City Police retained their American accents instead of the Irish accents. They were just the same as in Destroy All Humans!


In Albion, the Police were modelled after the Metropolitan Police in England. They wore Custodian Helmets and had cocky British accents.


In Takoshima, the Police were a little outdated, possibly due to Japan's liberation after World War II.