Colonel Kluckin was a Used-Car Salesman, Texas Politician, and owner of Colonel Kluckin's Kitchen. He was a rival to Orthopox and Big Willy's and the main antagonist of Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed.
Kluckin served as the primary antagonist after Crypto killed Patty Wurst in Harbor City. After the events in Harbor City, Crypto and Pox traveled to Fairfield to find where Kluckin was hiding. They failed, but destroyed the Roller girls, who were allies to Kluckin. Pox brought Crypto to Fantasy Atoll, an island located near Malaysia, as a tactic to beat Kluckin. After Crpyto killed Mr. Pork, they discovered where Kluckin was: Vietmahl.
As they landed, Crypto and Pox discovered area entrenched in war. After they knocked out Kluckin's Base's defenses, Crypto and Pox were kidnapped by Trahn and Kluckin revealed his plan: he takes the dead bodies from the Vietmahlese War and others in South East Asia and turns them into meat for his restaurant, a similar plan used by Pox for Big Willy's.
Soon, Crypto faced Kluckin in Vietmahl in a mechanical version of a rain forest god and subsequently, Kluckin was killed as Crypto (in Big Willy) managed to destroy his robot after the intense battle.
- Colonel Kluckin was a parody of Colonel Sanders and his restaurant was a parody of KFC.