Anal Probe

The Anal Probe.

The Anal Probe was used as more of a tool than a weapon across the Destroy All Humans! series, though it was still lethal in its own right.

Overview

The Anal Probe was primarily used for collecting Human brainstems. When a target was successfully hit, they ran away, grabbed their buttocks, and defecated, before their brainstem was blasted out of their head.

The weapon was built to take advantage of sphincters being a common anatomical trait among most species. It fires a projectile that burrows into the target's anus and tears through their body from the inside, before emerging through the head and uprooting the victim's brain.

AP-47 / 59

Crypto using the Anal Probe in Destroy All Humans! Remake.

The 1947 / 1959 Anal Probe was present in Destroy All Humans!. It was a small, black gun with a green container on the back. It worked by being charged and then shot at a human. A fully charged shot sent a Pedestrian or a Cop running before their heads exploded and allowed Crypto to collect their brainstems.

Two fully-charged shots were needed to take down a Soldier, and three shots were needed to take down a Majestic agent or a PSI Mutant. However, if Crypto hypnotized a Majestic agent or Soldier to sleep, it would only need a single shot.

The Anal Probe was the only weapon that was not upgraded by Orthopox. It was also the only Anal Probe variant that didn't require ammo, though for immediate extraction, charging it up was necessary.

AP-47 / 59 (Remake)

The Anal Probe was reworked in Destroy All Humans! Remake. Instead of being charged, it instead had an arrow indicator that flickered between bright and dark while locking onto a target. When fired while the indicator was lit up, the Anal Probe entered a living target and dealt damage rapidly over time for a short duration, enough to kill any regular human.

If a human died while being probed, the Anal Probe extracted their brainstem and brought it back to Crypto. While returning, the Anal Probe would also automatically collect brainstems and nearby ammo. If fired while the indicator was not lit up, the Anal Probe did nothing, and required a short time to recharge.

Successful Anal Probe shots also dealt minor damage to objects. They could even continuously damage and destroy EMP Mines and turrets.

Unlike in the original Destroy All Humans!, the Anal Probe was unlocked at the start of "Aliens Stole My Brain Stem" (the third Santa Modesta mission and sixth mission overall). Its brainstem collection effect also worked on the overloaded brainstems that had to be collected for the mission.

Upgrades

• Sniffer Sensors: Increases the time window for successful probing.
  • Proboscis Sensors: Greatly increases the time window for successful probing.
    • Centipedal Probulator: Successful probes chain to nearby targets when they burst out of the current subject.
• Butt Pressure Amplifier: Increases the damage dealt by successful probes.
  • Butt Pressure Maximizer: Greatly increases the damage dealt by successful probes.
    • Rectal Packager Supreme: Crypto can deploy multiple probes at the same time.

Bugs

• If the Rectal Packager Supreme upgrade is purchased and the Anal Probe is fired multiple times in succession, the second probe may fail to return to Crypto, leaving the Anal Probe with only one probe available until either the game or invasion site is exited.
• If the Anal Probe chains to a hypnotized civilian with the Centipetal Probulator upgrade in combat, when the probe returns to Crypto, the civilian will pull out a pistol and begin shooting at nearby enemies.

Furon Handbook

The sphincter being relatively universal among the variety of lifeforms in the universe, the Anal Probe was designed to have a two-pronged approach. It can both kill and extract the brain or brain-like apparatus of a lifeform.

"Better out than in!" - Gastro-999.

AP-69

The second Anal Probe from Destroy All Humans! 2 looked the same as before, but required ammo. The 1969 Anal Probe set the trend for its successors: it instantly killed a human. Brains were still collected, though it was only able to use Mind Flash. Using the Anal Probe on a Blisk Mutant turned them back into a human. Ammo was obtained by Transmogrify, the same as the Disintegrator Ray, and other weapons in Destroy All Humans! 2 that required ammo. It was the only version of the Anal Probe that was not obtained near the start of Crypto’s journey, as it was collected after the first Invasion Site.

Upgrades

• Rectal Packager: Increase Anal Probe capacity to 7
  • Butt Pressure Maximizer: Increase Anal Probe capacity to 9

AP-69 (Reprobed)

The Anal Probe in Destroy All Humans! 2 Reprobed functions and appears largely the same as the version in the first game's remake, retaining the trait of flickering between a charged and uncharged state (displayed by the arrow indicator in the HUD being bright or dark respectively) as the fire button is held. However, it can now be fired at any time instead of only when the indicator is lit up. Firing when the indicator is lit, which occurs after about a second of holding down the fire button, will fire a critical probe that will behave the same as the previous game, refunding the ammo spent and retrieving any brains in its vicinity when the probe returns. If the probe fired is not a critical hit, the probe will become an ammo pickup once its duration expires or the host dies, and will not automatically collect the victim's brain; the player must collect the probe and brain themselves.

When upgraded to combat Blisk, the Anal Probe can extract brains from Blisk Warriors.

Upgrades

• Sniffer Sensors: Easy critical hits. Increases the time window for critical probing. (10 Furotech Cells)
  • Cavernous Cavity Coupling: Ammo boost. Increases the maximum ammo capacity. (12 Furotech Cells)
    • Centripedal Probulator: Chaining. Successful probes chain to nearby targets when they burst out of the current subject. (1 Furotech Reactor)
• Butt Pressure Amplifier: Critical damage boost. Increases the damage dealt by critical probes. (14 Furotech Cells)
  • Butt Pressure Maximizer: Total damage boost. All probes deal even more damage. (16 Furotech Cells)
    • Craniorectal Catalyst: Shield charger. Picking up a brain immediately starts Crypto's personal shield regeneration. (1 Furotech Reactor)

Furon Handbook

Weaponized Anal Probe: The sphincter being relatively universal among the variety of lifeforms in the universe, the Anal Probe was designed to have a two-pronged approach. It both kills and extracts the brain or brain-like apparatus of a lifeform.

Launch a projectile that enters the target's rectum and destroys them from the inside. Time the release of the probe to land a critical hit. If the probe bursts out of the target before its energy has run out, it will automatically jump to another nearby target.

PseudoPox: "Aim probe at internal junction of spinal column and sacrum. Avoid coccyx."

Anal Probe Retractor System: Automated retraction systems streamline the process of collecting strands of Furon DNA extracted from humans. The retractor system guarantees that Furon DNA is safely collected from extracted human brainstems.

Anal probes launched via critical hits will also return all of the brains they touch when they return to the weapon's magazine.

PseudoPox: "Keep brainstem pristine and avoid Night of the Living Dead Scenario by utilizing proper protocol.

AP-77 / 79

The MK IV Anal Probe in Path of the Furon.

The 1977 / 1979 model gained another new look, with its full name being the Orthopox AP-77 Anal Probe, and resembled a grenade launcher. It had recharging ammo once again, but by priming the weapon, it could lock on to multiple Humans at once, and/or send multiple probes into human rectums. Unlike previous incarnations which did no damage against bosses, this one did.

• Probe Parcel 1: Increase number of probes that can be fired simultaneously
  • Probe Parcel 2: Maximizes number of probes that can be fired simultaneously
• Vorticular Motor 1: Increase rectal damage
  • Vorticular Motor 2: Further increase rectal damage
    • Vorticular Motor 3: Increase rectal damage to maximum
• Nanobot Containment Belt 1: Increase recharge rate and probe ammo capacity
  • Nanobot Containment Belt 2: Further increase recharge rate and probe ammo capacity
    • Nanobot Containment Belt 3: Increase recharge rate and probe ammo capacity to maximum

Trivia

• The Anal Probe was originally going to be a weapon called the Brain Bug. Evidence of that was in the Destroy all Humans! Archive: Evolution of an alien.
• The name and portrayal of the Anal Probe was a reference to the popular (and rather ridiculous) legends of aliens who kidnapped Humans and probed them.
• The Orthopox AP-77 Anal Probe, is the only current way to give names to all the models of each weapon, AP for Anal Probe, and 79 for the year PotF takes place, 1979.

Appearances

• Destroy All Humans!
• Destroy All Humans! 2
• Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed (Non-Canon)
• Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon
• Destroy All Humans! Remake